Keeping It Real

Prior to reading this post you may want to consider clicking on my About tab and reading the sections there. 🙂

Most days I wish I were my prior self. You know, the one before my body went all sorts of crazy and I am in pain 24/7. The one where I am not shouting out on a continual basis because it hurts THAT bad. The one where I do not spend hours crying and crying. The one where I wasn’t pleading in my prayers with God to heal me and let me be my old self again. The one where my emotions didn’t go from normal to sad to an angry psycho in one second on the clock.

I wake up. I want to sleep more but there is something inside myself that always makes me get out of bed. I am ALWAYS CONSTANTLY tired these days no matter how many hours of sleep I have gotten and sleeping more sounds very desirable but unrealistic. Things must get done. Time moves forward. So must I.

I do my chores in the morning. Before my shower. Because in between the time in which I awaken and get into the shower is the window of my day in which I am in the LEAST amount of pain. This is because it has *almost* been a full 24 hours since my last shower. Showering brings me much pain but I do shower daily! I love the feeling of being clean and I do not want my skin to get infected AT ALL. I would DIE. So. On a typical weekday I get up and talk with my husband as he gets ready for work. An enjoyable time of day even though we are both zombies. Once he has left I load the washer with a batch of clothes because I am able to lean over so much easier (aka am in much less pain) than post-shower. After this, I do any other cleaning, chore, or task that needs to be done as my physical movement is not so limited.

My shower is not so enjoyable and I am always glad when it is over. After I get out, getting dressed and ready can take some time. I don’t even do my hair or makeup unless I am actually going out somewhere because I just do not have the energy. My wet hair simply air dries and my face, well, I haven’t had the budget to make the switch over to natural, organic makeup so my face is probably grateful that I only put the toxins on it here and there. Haha!

This is basically the first part of my day. The rest of my day I am in substantial pain and as much as I would like to sit down, sitting is not so much fun (more pain). I spend my “free time” alone in the house cooking, thinking, learning, reading, researching, going outside for a walk (only on less painful days), skyping with my mother as much as possible, and working on this blog as time permits (all while usually standing) before my husband returns home to me. By the end of the night my feet are killing me and bedtime starts looking quite enticing.

This is just a little snippet into the daily life of me. If daily life for you is hard, I sympathize with you. If you are in pain, I feel for you. If you wish for some kind of relief, I am right there with you. If something as simple as walking around your house is agony, I am struggling next to you. We WILL make it through. Somehow. Some way. Life IS still beautiful.


2 thoughts on “Keeping It Real

  1. I must confess I’ve only read a couple of your posts but wow, this one hit me. I never knew how much of a struggle you were in and I feel for you. I understand daily pain but it sounds like you are a lot worse off. I hope you get some relief soon xo

    • Your message has had me smiling for like the past 5 minutes. Thank you for so much for your kind words and friendship. Really, it means more than you know. xoxo!

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